Flash of memory.
Before you go on read the next fairy tale which is about a flower ( I almost wanted to say “my fairy tale”) I have to be totally honest with you and myself.
When the idea of the story came to me, I was so proud of myself! It was so pleasant to know that I have the imagination to create something like that… So I wrote it down in my laptop and sent it by internet to one of my new friends Yanny, whom I got to know through her open and very lovely emails to me (she lives in another town and we've never met in real life, but I believe she is a sweetheart and a very nice lady). And I asked her what she thought of the story.
What a surprise I got a couple of days later…
Yanny is a very good friend, she not only read my story she did a little research on the internet and you know what? There was already a fairy tale about the flower that I wrote about. A little bit different, but it was uncannily similar, and I swear when I read that other fairy tale I was in shock, I never knew that version.
So I decided to call my mom, to ask if she knew anything about it…
And a few minutes later I got a new twist to the story!
My mother didn’t know the story that Yanny found over the internet, but what she knew was a little poem around 8 lines written by 18-th century Russian classical poet M. Lermontov. It was a story about young couple and a flower.
What happened was that one day when I was around 5 years old, my mom just told me that story in her own way, because I would not have listened to or understood the classical poem at that age. I think she must have run out of stories, fairy tales or songs to put me sleep.
What came to me like my own idea was realy a flash of memory and what you are going to read right now is just my own version of a very old fairy tale that people created a few centuries ago. And which was first and in what country is still not clear… at least for me.
In the original story the flower was called “forget-me-not”.
I was going to call it “ne-fo-me” ( for 'never-forget-me) but later I changed it back to the original name.
If your curiosity is aroused after reading this story, you can always do your own research in the internet and who knows what results you may get.
So here we are my next story before bed time. “the flower “FORGET-ME-NOT”
Fare tale: “the flower NE-FO-ME” or how it calls in real “FORGET-ME-NOT” .
Long time ago when there were no cars, phones and electricity when all people lived in small towns or castles, when life was so simple and easy one young handsome man fell in love with a very beautiful girl and every time he asked her “will you marry me?” she answered “no”. Not because she didn’t love him. But because she was so scared that as soon as they got married that man would lose interest in her…
She loved him as much as he loved her. They spent a lot of time together, every morning he brought a fresh bucket of flowers to her, they walked holding each others’ hands, they talked about everything and everyone in that small town thought that this couple was just was born for each other. Everyone wished them luck and a long happy life together. And of course all were already preparing for a big white wedding!!!
But this beautiful girl still kept saying no.
It upset the young man, and like a real person who was full of love he asked her “ How I can prove to you my love? What shall I do? Tell me, and I will prove that I will love you forever!”
And every day the girl asked him to do this and do that just to prove that he was not lying. And the handsome man did everything, just to please his love. And as much as he tried, that girl was still scared that one day this miracle of love and passion will be gone.
One day they took a long walk in the forest. It was such a pleasant day. Everything was so nice. They laughed, they ran to each other and from each other, they sang songs, and even they kissed, just a little bit, because all people who are in love wants to kiss each other.
It was a perfect day. And when they stopped for a rest by the lake this young man again asked this lady “will you marry me?”
Oh, how beautiful she was, she was just born to be loved and live happily.
And finally the girl answered ”my young handsome man, you know how much I love you, and you know how I want to marry you, and you did everything to prove that this feeling between us will stay forever. And this time I am almost ready to say “yes” to you. Only one more little proof and I will be your wife.”
She looked at him with her big eyes and continued.
“You see that small island on the middle of this lake? There is only grass and one lone flower on that island. This flower is so beautiful, I’ve never seen anything like that. Bring it to me and I will put it in my hair on our wedding night, like a symbol of our love”.
In an instance this man swam to the island. He ran to the flower that was growing alone in the middle of that field, he grabbed that flower in his hand and turned to the girl who was standing in the side of the lake waiting for him.
“I got it for you my love! Now will you marry me?” the young man called to her from that island in the middle of the lake.
“Yes! Come back my love!” The girl screamed back to him. ”I just cannot wait to tell everybody. This is a great news! I am so happy! Please, come to me!” She got so exited, that she even started to jump and clap her hands. She laughed and everything in this moment was just perfect.
Next moment the young man tried to run and to jump back to the lake to swim to his love. But something held on to his legs. He was in such a rush to get this flower that he did not realize that the island was nothing but just a swamp, covered with grass. All that he could do right then was just to look at the girl and hold the flower in his hand.
The young man’s legs slowly started to go down in that swamp. He could not take even one step. It was too late to scream for a help! There was nobody around and there was only the one beautiful girl who was looking at him and waiting for him and who was finally ready to marry him, and he could not do anything to get out of that island to be with her.
Slowly the young man started to disappear in that swamp. First the toes, then the knees, then the waist and the chest all went down into that swamp. Only his hands and head could still be seen. In last moment the young handsome man looked on the love of his life, threw the flower to her and screamed” don’t forget me!”
When the flower hit the ground in front of the girl the young man disappeared forever. There was nobody on that island in the middle of the lake. Just a green grass.
Suddenly, it got very quiet around, only rapid wind and the last words of the handsome young man “don‘t forget me… forget me don‘t…forget me not…forget me not…”
When girl got back home she put that flower in a vase and since then she never get fell in love or even met any other man in her life. Every night she cried looking at that flower that remained fresh and beautiful. It did not wilt or got old.
Everyone who came to visit her asked “What is the name of such a gorgeous flower?”
And every time the girl answered: “FORGET-ME-NOT”.
Enjoy every moment in your life, don’t be scared of the future. If somebody loves you, don’t ask them to prove it. Just give your love back to them. And you will live happily forever!
Like always Sincerely yours,
Leonid The Magnificent
2007
Losing Weight 
This is a true story. I don't know if it is funny or not, but anyway I 'm going to tell you.
When I work my solo concerts I start to use more and more stand-up comedy. I love comedy and it 's always good to make others laugh.
So, one of my jokes is about how I stay in such a good shape !
I say just two lines with a very serious face:
"Yes, I am on a diet, it is called the 'salad and wine ' diet and believe me in one week you will lose a few pounds and maybe your driver 's license!"
Sure it is just a joke and I've never been on any diet. I'm lucky I could eat everything I love, an ytime I wanted, even at 3 a.m. in the morning! I had no problem with extra weight.
At lea st I was thinking that way until NOW.
Very rare ly do I have my old friends visiting me from Russia. When that happens we all have a good time and sure we go out a lot and we eat a lot. And of course I skip all my sports and dance activities, or lower it to the minimum. Don't blame me for that! Try it for yourself: in the morning go to Metropolitan museum, during the day have a good steak and at night dance and get a couple of drinks. Then g o home and order a pizza for a quick snack.
Will you be in the mood to go to the gym? Me, no! It'd be easier for you to kill me than to push me to lift free weights.
So here I was having a blast and telling myself that for two weeks nothing would happen to me and after my company leaves I will be in the same shape like before. Bla-bla-bla.
It was late summer and the weather was so good that I took them for a ride to outside of NYC and spent a day at a scenic place with waterfalls, and got some fresh air.
Like all tourists we took our video and photo cameras. And we took so many shots (don't get confused with drink shots, they were photo shots !) in any possible ways. Some of them I just had to delete so that I would not compromise myself further, even though some of you think that my image on the stage has compromised me enough already! But it could always be more … trust me ! Anyway there soon came a moment when I realized that I was in trouble. To be totally honest , in big trouble!
Some of my photos I did walking in the water or standing in the waterfalls, and in order not to get my clothes wet I simply stripped down to my undies.
Of course my friends just screamed looking at that (chubby person? cutie?) in the water: "Oh, my god! What a hunk! Leo you are so sexy!!! How many pounds did you gain to look like a real cowboy?"
Damn it was so cold! But I had to look so hot! And some of those photos I bet "playboy" could put on its front page…that was how I was thinking driving back home at maximum speed that was allowed on the freeway. I just could not wait to download my photos onto my laptop and look at my beautiful body and handsome face on the big 17'' screen.
Ha! Those photos almost gave me a heart attack! There I was: big, fat, unshaved (actually I quite liked my new look with a 3-day stubble) standing and looking right at the camera with an idiotic grin that said to everyone: "Look at me, I am perfect and you're just all gonna love me…."
I was in shock. I could not believe it was me. I was looking at a totally different man from what I was used to seeing every time I looked at myself in the mirror.
I think we all get this illusion because we just don't see the small changes that happen to us every day. Or maybe I was so confident of my looks that I just did not see the extra weight that I was starting to put on … Sure I felt that my pants were getting tighter and I felt a little bit heav ier, but in the mirror I only saw the same me. Athletic-build slim Leo. The body to die for! Perfect like a swimmer, limber like a snake, sexy like Marilyn Monroe to a straight man.
The worst part was that I had to do a show one week later in Las Vegas! I just could not go onto the stage in Las Vegas in this condition!!!! I panicked!!!
7 days only to the show ! So I started my diet right away.
The pizza that night was canceled and I got so many complaints about that from my friends that I nearly asked them to simply get out of my house.
I was not in the mood for jokes and laughter and of course like all true friends my company just started to tease me and make fun of me in any possible way. The angrier I got the more they enjoyed it. What bastards!
But I was strong. No more meat, chicken, sour cream, ice cream, bread, butter, sugar, mayonnaise… all these things have tons of calories.
I ended up eating like the joke I made on the stage: salad and wine, just without the wine. Only water.
And I went back to the gym. I was working out dressed in three sport suits, sweater and calzone under my (if you remember clear) three sports pants. Is this to hide your figure?
I was afraid to take any pills that promise you to lose weight. I wanted to get result s in a natural way. I don't know if I did it the right or wrong way. I just did the way I felt would work for me so please don't try it at home, or try it at your own risk, and don't blame me if you pass out or get any health problem s!
All that did not make my buddies feel sorry for me. They just tried to find all opportunities to tease me and screw me up and to get me back on the food. They even started to cook!!! And they cooked all my favorite dishes!!! And every time they asked me to join them or to at least try the des sert. I was cold, calm, and hungry.
I promised myself that as soon as the show in Las Vegas was done, as soon as I walk ed away from the stage I will go to the best restaurant and I will order all food that they have.
With 3 days left to the show, I start ed to look better. I was proud of myself even though I was so hungry I was ready to eat anything even the left-overs that my guest s threw out in the garbage. Terrible, right?
My friends left for Russia telling me how proud they were of me, and how they loved me any way I looked, but sure deep inside they were worried for me. They just did not want to show that. But later I got e-mails and phone calls from all of them asking me how I felt and did I lose the weight? Those are my buddies, old friends who can be tough, cold, without any sorrow for you in public, but one-on -one they're the most supportive and kind people in the world.
More and more I meet people like that in my life. Some of them can be very rude to me in public, but when I look in their eyes I see the truth. They're just not sure of themselves, just afraid, just scared … But this is a different story.
3 days left… and there came a new challenge to see if I was strong in my resolve to keep losing weight.
Guess what? A birthday party. And the host was emphatic that I must attend. And it was a barbeque on the beach with a lot of food, meat and fish. I wish I could say no. I wish I was dead.
From noon to 6 p.m. I was around people who were happily eating and drinking. And what did I put in my mouth? Just water and salad! No I lied to you. At 4:23 p.m. I took one small bite of red meat. I just could not help myself. It was too much for me. I wanted the food! I wanted to eat!
Sure all noticed that strange upset look on my face and my empty plate…
If you go somewhere and you see people happy and eating, do not tell them that you're on a diet!
First they will look at you like you are an alien, then all of them will start to tell you what is the best way to lose weight and stay on a diet. Even if you tell them that this is only for a few days , that it is an emergency and the day after tomorrow you will be like all of them, they will not stop and the heaviest one of them will teach you and promise you the right diet.
Like all idiots I believed that person. If I call her an overweight lady I'm complimenting her!
After she heard that I needed to lose only a few pounds and it must be in two days she gave me an advise and I followed that.
Shall I continue?
Ok, you asked for it.
How to explain it in the way I understood it….
Check with a doctor if you going to do that!!!
I did it on my own way….
Sorry, I just could tell you that…
Just kidding!
Here we are.
Three, two, one!
Action!
What I had understood from that monologue was that our body is made of 95% water and if I wanted to lose weight I have to lose water. That is why people on diet lose the first pounds so fast and easily, because they're actually losing water.
When we eat food we ge t salt and sugar inside and that keep s the water in our bodies.
So if I want to lose my extra couple of pounds I have to lose the extra water, and what better way to lose it. It is the natural way.
How to say in English. Go to the restroom. Is it correct? Go to pee…
On my way home I was thinking how I could go to restroom as much as possible?
I called my mom. And guess what? She confirmed that that lady was right. And when my mom was single and very young sometimes when she got extra weight she used the same way to get back in shape.
And like all sons I trust my mom. If she says something that must be th e way. And one more thing, my mom finish ed university as a biologist and she must know what she's talking about.
I told her about my tragedy and I had only two days left and my waist still did not look slim and tight. The other parts of my body looked OK by that time.
That was when I heard about the special tea. That just makes you go and go.
I was so happy! I just needed to get that tea.
Of course after that I called that lady who became for me a hero, a best friend, the sweetest girl in the word, and I asked her if she knew anything about a natural way I could lose the water from my body? I did not say a word about not trusting her till I ha d spoken to my mom. I am a nice man and I don't like to hurt others' feelings letting them know that I don't trust or believe anybody in this world. People take it so personal ly.
And of course after a few suggestions on how I could push myself to go to restroom more then usual she started to talk about the tea…
In her experience it worked like th is. You drink the tea, wait for half an hour and then you'd better stay at home for the next two hours and that is it. Just don't drink any water after that.
I was in heaven, I was on my way to Las Vegas and I knew that tomorrow I w ould be in my best shape ever! In my pocket I carr ied a bag of that magic tea.
Then it was one day left before the show. I arrived in Vegas and checked into the hotel.
How to kill the free time and not to think about food? I decided to go to see a stage show that was running on the Las Vegas strip.
I planned all day. I would drink the tea at 3:30 pm it would start to work at 4 pm. By 6 pm it would be done and I would get dressed and go to see the show that would start at 7 pm. After the show I would go back to the hotel and go to sleep. In the morning I would wake up with no (delete 'a') shame to look at myself in the mirror.
So at 3:30pm I drank that tea. At 4pm there was no sig n of me wanting to 'go somewhere', so I gave myself another half an hour to see if it was going to start working. By 5:30pm there was still nothing. I became angry that I might have gotten the wrong tea. It was not working!
At 5:35pm I started to get a strange discomfort in my stomach, and then it began. Have you seen the commercial about the man or woman who needed to go to pee every hour? That lady or man was very lucky. After drinking this tea and waiting for almost two hours I started to run to the bathroom every 15 minutes!! .
The show was to start in 5 minutes and where do you think I was? Right. In the bathroom ! But I don't want to lose that $100 that I paid for my ticket. I wanted to see the show. So I got to my seat in the front row exactly at 7:00pm. Exactly at 7:15pm I had to go again.
7:20pm it was back to my seat. 7:35pm I had to go and please don't look at me… I am very sorry, but I just had to go! 7:40pm back to my seat. Uhm. What is this show about? Did I miss something? Is there going to be a break or is it a non -stop show for two hours?
7:55pm I wanted to go, but I told myself I respected the people sitting next to me and I would sit till the end. 8:00pm I am really sorry, but let me come through I had to go!!!
I did not go back to see the rest of the show…
I took a taxi back to my hotel. I was happy that the tea was working but really upset that it was working so well at the wrong time!
The last surprise I got that evening was that 8:00pm was the last time I really wanted to go. If I had known that I could have gone back to see the end of the show without any worries.
9:35pm I was so tired and upset from what had happened to me that I just collapsed in my bed and fell asleep.
Next morning I wo ke up and I could see my triumph in the mirror!!!
I looked like how I was before I put on any extra weight. I think I got even skinnier than I wanted.
Of course later when my show was done I went to a restaurant and ordered the best fish dish that I had ever eat en in my life.
Since then I have become more careful about how I look, how much I eat and how often I work out in my daily life.
To be honest I just hate to have to be on a diet again!
Leonid The Magnificent
October 2007
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